Day 9: Wallowing in Shallow Mallows

Something ain't right. I've been steadily gaining poundage the past few weeks.  I do know I've been gradually gaining fat back the past year but the rate is really overwhelming me. It's also not that I'm just overtly paranoid about it. I am clear that it's happening because my pants tell me so, the mirror complains to me about the same, and even my really honest and caring friends reluctantly admit such hard facts to my face.

Something has to happen and what makes me real sad is that I can't seem to take a grip on this. Call me vain. Call me shallow. But I won't deny that this is making me sad, making me feel ugly, making me feel really down. I need to get out of this shitty place and take those needed baby steps back up. I just need to get that one solid break to start the recovery once again.
Such failure to control my weight is especially damning for me because I have been quite good at this for the past 3 years or so. I've controlled my food, ate just the right portions, and exercised quite regularly. A year passed and wam, bam! Gone. All those great habits and firm control disappeared like I did not even know them at all.
Mark this date, October 9. The date when I finally take charge and start winning this battle. I like myself too much to let this get me down. I know I can do this. Let me really start now.