It's disturbing but it's real. I have visited the church a maximum of 3x this year + one today. Those four odd times were due to weddings (2), pseudo funeral (1) and First Communion (1).
I can't deny that there is no acceptable reason for this reality I've built. It all boils down to plain laziness and lack of commitment on my part. I do prefer to lay down in bed and take my much needed rest or do my more urgent errand than go visit the church. Unacceptable. Real.
For a time in 2006, I took it upon myself to do something about this but as you already know, I lapsed again.
The most I've accomplished is to complete the "Simbang Gabi" or the "Nine Christmas Massess" for the past 3 years. Still. Not Enough.
I have no answers at the moment but like any other struggle, I am hoping recovery starts now as I acknowledge this problem. I want to figure this out and find solitude somewhere. Let's see.
Disturbing thoughts aside, I did find so much joy attending my godson's First Communion today. I couldn't help but shed a few real tears as I watched my godson dance to my favorite praise song as he concluded his First Communion with 51 other kids. I guess I still remembered the time he was yet to be born and how much things have changed for the better for him and his family over the years. It makes me so grateful, believe in miracles, unconditonal love, and happily ever after. So inspiring!
After church, we headed out to my friend's newly bought home. It was a First Communion and Housewarming celebration at the same time. My friend prepared lots of Pinoy food ordered from one of our favorite caterers in SG and I, of course, indulged once again!
After the housewarming, I went straight to the mall and the grocery to shop in preparation for my parent's arrival tomorrow. Much to do! Much to do! I am trying hard not to be stressed but I definitely am. I want their visit to be perfect =)
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